The Dark Side

First of all, sorry if I haven't been able to put up anything new for a while. Something happened to my phone line, and my internet went down with it. A fiasco with PLDT later (which I'll rant about some other time), I have my phone and my net back.

Lack of internet at home forced me to use cafes to tend to my online business. I only needed a few minutes a day to do so. Y'know, check emails, message boards, and stuff like that.

The past few days have reminded me why I hate going into local internet cafes.

This particular one was inside my subdivision. I had little choice; it was close to my house, I knew the owners. The next nearest one was a good ten-minute walk away, and it was nearly the same anyway. In fact, most of the internet cafes within ten kilometers of here are the same. How? The people that are in them.

Yes. Stupid people. Worst part is, I knew these people personally. At least I hardly talk to them in the first place. These are the main types:

1) The braggart n00b. This should be familar to anyone. This isn't simply limited to kids. Older teenagers also display this. They keep claiming that they're the best, but in reality they suck.

One incident is this. The person using the PC beside mine once kept bragging about his character in RAN Online. To me. Now, I know nothing about the game, but I've seen enough of it in various places to at least be aware. He was using an archer-type class. With a sword.

He was also level high 20-ish.

I know that's still a low level, but, really. By then he should know that he should be using a bow. And yet he's claiming that his damage was strong and he was raking in the exp. Nevermind that he was killstealing blatantly and doing only miniscule damage to the enemy lifebar. His 'extremely powerful' skill was a newbie one. And he kept going on even though he was getting better advice from other people.

Did I mention that he always challenges people to duels but always runs away?

I resisted the urge to throw him out the window. I wanted to stay on good terms with the owner.

2) The camwhore. Okay, you're shaking your head. Yes, seeing them in action makes my stomach turn. No, the place doesn't have webcams. But it's just as bad as if they had them.

One, the owner doesn't care, unless the guys start jerking off on cam or something. Women are dirty talking with men from India and you don't give a damn? I'd slap him, but...good terms. Yeah. Being pegged as an insane maniac isn't a good thing.

Two, one of the women is over forty years old and is married. Enough said.

Three, there are kids in there. What is the world coming to? Kids shouldn't be exposed to your stupid pursuits of foreign men!

Four, they're using text speak! All the others are insignificant compared to this! By God, please use proper words at least! You're not on a damned cellphone, and seeing you type 'im fyn hw bout u hw r u doin 2nyt????' makes me want to commit bloody murder.

I can think of a few ways to kill someone with an optical mouse.

3) The online sexual predator. I've been a victim of these guys since I use a female avatar, and I'm glad to see no such people in this cafe. Probably because people will tell their parents. Except for one.

When he thought no one was looking, he commented on how pretty a female ingame was and shyly asked her out. Except replace 'female' with 'some other male retard in another net cafe somewhere', 'shyly' with 'blatantly' and 'asked her out' with 'asked her if he could sexually assault her'. Now, change all that to Tagalog, season it with textspeak and add additional question marks to the end.

Yes, my brain hurts too.

I vowed never to talk to him again.

4) Last, for now. The devil's advocate. Don't know what I'm talking about?

(Conversation translated to English. Removed all traces of grammar stupid. Only I have to suffer the actual conversation.)

Guy1: Okay, I'm making this trade...
Guy2: Psst, dude. Change the item to this one with a similar sprite!
Guy1: Hmm...
Guy2: Yeah! You'll keep your item and he'll get a crap one. You still get the money.
Guy1: Good idea!

By this time I was reaching for the cord of my mouse. I had to remind myself to stay calm. It would be child abuse. A ten-year old kid was teaching someone seven years older than him how to scam. If this generation is our future, I'd rather die early.

Guy2: Ask for items from that guy, make him think you're actually a girl!
Guy1: Cool, I got a rare item from him.
Guy2: Told you!

I didn't catch the rest. I was done with my online business and had to go home. I was still visualizing choking him like the bald guy in Hitman does. If you haven't seen it, you're basically back-to-back with your target with the fiberwire (or optical mouse cable), one end in each hand, wire around his neck as you bend over, then you give it one strong tug after a while, flipping him over.

I settled for loading up Diablo II and killing everything on sight.

I have seen the dark sides of the people I live in the same subdivision with, the people I've known for a long time. It's not pretty. Not pretty at all.

I'll never go back there again. Unless one of the braggart n00bs challenge me to a Defense of the Ancients game in Warcraft III, when I'll prove again that saving up for a +25 Str item for Bone Fletcher isn't such a hot strategy. I'll still kill you anyway. Use your hotkeys, dammit.