I smile and nod empathically as she poured out her problems to me. Whenever she had a problem, she always came to me.
It was a face-to-face conversation this time. Apparently her current boyfriend was a jerk who deserved to die, because he was walking with another girl.
I mentally sighed. She was jumping into conclusions again. She always did. And an overactive imagination to boot. I had to stop her before it goes wild again.
After talking for an hour, she stood up and smiled at me, and thanked me, and that I'll make a good boyfriend someday.
All guys know that when a girl says they're boyfriend material, chances are she'll never see you that way.
As she goes out the door, I could only smile. A fake smile. We'll do this again and again, me listening to her heartbreaks, her despair. Me, still here, offering words of comfort. Still out of the loop until she has another problem again.
I could have taken advantage of her nature. I could have told her she was right about the guy. I could have told her a lot of things. But I didn't. I didn't want to see her sad. I didn't want her to lose me, someone she can talk to about everything. I'll just keep sitting here with the same accepting smile she had grown used to, offering an ear to her latest dilemma.
I love her.
But I'm a nice guy.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Monday, August 07, 2006
Ero-Sommelier
I can't understand why some people call me very perverted.
I don't peek up skirts. I don't grope anybody on crowded trains. I talk to a woman's face. I don't even want to get anywhere near a prostitute. I generally don't think of women I know that way. I believe my pervert level to be of that of a normal male.
I just like to play H games. What's so wrong with that?
Really. Am I the only one who plays such games for the story and characters? The gameplay? And the beautiful artwork? The pictures don't excite me at all *that way*, you know. Play Crescendo and Kana Imouto (Kana Little Sister). Those games are quite emotional. You'll cry. Some are even RPGs, which I enjoy playing. If you want to know titles I'd recommend, contact me.
For the record, I dislike plotless games of such nature vehemently. I'm looking at you, Poker and Blackjack series.
Even after I explain, they don't believe me. You know what? Screw them.
I've played a lot of these games in my lifetime, and many of them still line my shelf. I still get inspirations for stories from them. I still play the old ones from time-to-time, especially the classic True Love, which involves thinking and strategy for maximum results. I even made a day-to-day planner on it before.
For me, these games are art. Call them questionable, but they're art. Try playing one and actually noticing things for once. Open your eyes just a little wider. How many of you have actually listened to a H game's opening song? Or soundtrack?
Now, if you'll excuse me, I just got a new one this morning...
I don't peek up skirts. I don't grope anybody on crowded trains. I talk to a woman's face. I don't even want to get anywhere near a prostitute. I generally don't think of women I know that way. I believe my pervert level to be of that of a normal male.
I just like to play H games. What's so wrong with that?
Really. Am I the only one who plays such games for the story and characters? The gameplay? And the beautiful artwork? The pictures don't excite me at all *that way*, you know. Play Crescendo and Kana Imouto (Kana Little Sister). Those games are quite emotional. You'll cry. Some are even RPGs, which I enjoy playing. If you want to know titles I'd recommend, contact me.
For the record, I dislike plotless games of such nature vehemently. I'm looking at you, Poker and Blackjack series.
Even after I explain, they don't believe me. You know what? Screw them.
I've played a lot of these games in my lifetime, and many of them still line my shelf. I still get inspirations for stories from them. I still play the old ones from time-to-time, especially the classic True Love, which involves thinking and strategy for maximum results. I even made a day-to-day planner on it before.
For me, these games are art. Call them questionable, but they're art. Try playing one and actually noticing things for once. Open your eyes just a little wider. How many of you have actually listened to a H game's opening song? Or soundtrack?
Now, if you'll excuse me, I just got a new one this morning...
Saturday, August 05, 2006
The Dark Side
First of all, sorry if I haven't been able to put up anything new for a while. Something happened to my phone line, and my internet went down with it. A fiasco with PLDT later (which I'll rant about some other time), I have my phone and my net back.
Lack of internet at home forced me to use cafes to tend to my online business. I only needed a few minutes a day to do so. Y'know, check emails, message boards, and stuff like that.
The past few days have reminded me why I hate going into local internet cafes.
This particular one was inside my subdivision. I had little choice; it was close to my house, I knew the owners. The next nearest one was a good ten-minute walk away, and it was nearly the same anyway. In fact, most of the internet cafes within ten kilometers of here are the same. How? The people that are in them.
Yes. Stupid people. Worst part is, I knew these people personally. At least I hardly talk to them in the first place. These are the main types:
1) The braggart n00b. This should be familar to anyone. This isn't simply limited to kids. Older teenagers also display this. They keep claiming that they're the best, but in reality they suck.
One incident is this. The person using the PC beside mine once kept bragging about his character in RAN Online. To me. Now, I know nothing about the game, but I've seen enough of it in various places to at least be aware. He was using an archer-type class. With a sword.
He was also level high 20-ish.
I know that's still a low level, but, really. By then he should know that he should be using a bow. And yet he's claiming that his damage was strong and he was raking in the exp. Nevermind that he was killstealing blatantly and doing only miniscule damage to the enemy lifebar. His 'extremely powerful' skill was a newbie one. And he kept going on even though he was getting better advice from other people.
Did I mention that he always challenges people to duels but always runs away?
I resisted the urge to throw him out the window. I wanted to stay on good terms with the owner.
2) The camwhore. Okay, you're shaking your head. Yes, seeing them in action makes my stomach turn. No, the place doesn't have webcams. But it's just as bad as if they had them.
One, the owner doesn't care, unless the guys start jerking off on cam or something. Women are dirty talking with men from India and you don't give a damn? I'd slap him, but...good terms. Yeah. Being pegged as an insane maniac isn't a good thing.
Two, one of the women is over forty years old and is married. Enough said.
Three, there are kids in there. What is the world coming to? Kids shouldn't be exposed to your stupid pursuits of foreign men!
Four, they're using text speak! All the others are insignificant compared to this! By God, please use proper words at least! You're not on a damned cellphone, and seeing you type 'im fyn hw bout u hw r u doin 2nyt????' makes me want to commit bloody murder.
I can think of a few ways to kill someone with an optical mouse.
3) The online sexual predator. I've been a victim of these guys since I use a female avatar, and I'm glad to see no such people in this cafe. Probably because people will tell their parents. Except for one.
When he thought no one was looking, he commented on how pretty a female ingame was and shyly asked her out. Except replace 'female' with 'some other male retard in another net cafe somewhere', 'shyly' with 'blatantly' and 'asked her out' with 'asked her if he could sexually assault her'. Now, change all that to Tagalog, season it with textspeak and add additional question marks to the end.
Yes, my brain hurts too.
I vowed never to talk to him again.
4) Last, for now. The devil's advocate. Don't know what I'm talking about?
(Conversation translated to English. Removed all traces of grammar stupid. Only I have to suffer the actual conversation.)
Guy1: Okay, I'm making this trade...
Guy2: Psst, dude. Change the item to this one with a similar sprite!
Guy1: Hmm...
Guy2: Yeah! You'll keep your item and he'll get a crap one. You still get the money.
Guy1: Good idea!
By this time I was reaching for the cord of my mouse. I had to remind myself to stay calm. It would be child abuse. A ten-year old kid was teaching someone seven years older than him how to scam. If this generation is our future, I'd rather die early.
Guy2: Ask for items from that guy, make him think you're actually a girl!
Guy1: Cool, I got a rare item from him.
Guy2: Told you!
I didn't catch the rest. I was done with my online business and had to go home. I was still visualizing choking him like the bald guy in Hitman does. If you haven't seen it, you're basically back-to-back with your target with the fiberwire (or optical mouse cable), one end in each hand, wire around his neck as you bend over, then you give it one strong tug after a while, flipping him over.
I settled for loading up Diablo II and killing everything on sight.
I have seen the dark sides of the people I live in the same subdivision with, the people I've known for a long time. It's not pretty. Not pretty at all.
I'll never go back there again. Unless one of the braggart n00bs challenge me to a Defense of the Ancients game in Warcraft III, when I'll prove again that saving up for a +25 Str item for Bone Fletcher isn't such a hot strategy. I'll still kill you anyway. Use your hotkeys, dammit.
Lack of internet at home forced me to use cafes to tend to my online business. I only needed a few minutes a day to do so. Y'know, check emails, message boards, and stuff like that.
The past few days have reminded me why I hate going into local internet cafes.
This particular one was inside my subdivision. I had little choice; it was close to my house, I knew the owners. The next nearest one was a good ten-minute walk away, and it was nearly the same anyway. In fact, most of the internet cafes within ten kilometers of here are the same. How? The people that are in them.
Yes. Stupid people. Worst part is, I knew these people personally. At least I hardly talk to them in the first place. These are the main types:
1) The braggart n00b. This should be familar to anyone. This isn't simply limited to kids. Older teenagers also display this. They keep claiming that they're the best, but in reality they suck.
One incident is this. The person using the PC beside mine once kept bragging about his character in RAN Online. To me. Now, I know nothing about the game, but I've seen enough of it in various places to at least be aware. He was using an archer-type class. With a sword.
He was also level high 20-ish.
I know that's still a low level, but, really. By then he should know that he should be using a bow. And yet he's claiming that his damage was strong and he was raking in the exp. Nevermind that he was killstealing blatantly and doing only miniscule damage to the enemy lifebar. His 'extremely powerful' skill was a newbie one. And he kept going on even though he was getting better advice from other people.
Did I mention that he always challenges people to duels but always runs away?
I resisted the urge to throw him out the window. I wanted to stay on good terms with the owner.
2) The camwhore. Okay, you're shaking your head. Yes, seeing them in action makes my stomach turn. No, the place doesn't have webcams. But it's just as bad as if they had them.
One, the owner doesn't care, unless the guys start jerking off on cam or something. Women are dirty talking with men from India and you don't give a damn? I'd slap him, but...good terms. Yeah. Being pegged as an insane maniac isn't a good thing.
Two, one of the women is over forty years old and is married. Enough said.
Three, there are kids in there. What is the world coming to? Kids shouldn't be exposed to your stupid pursuits of foreign men!
Four, they're using text speak! All the others are insignificant compared to this! By God, please use proper words at least! You're not on a damned cellphone, and seeing you type 'im fyn hw bout u hw r u doin 2nyt????' makes me want to commit bloody murder.
I can think of a few ways to kill someone with an optical mouse.
3) The online sexual predator. I've been a victim of these guys since I use a female avatar, and I'm glad to see no such people in this cafe. Probably because people will tell their parents. Except for one.
When he thought no one was looking, he commented on how pretty a female ingame was and shyly asked her out. Except replace 'female' with 'some other male retard in another net cafe somewhere', 'shyly' with 'blatantly' and 'asked her out' with 'asked her if he could sexually assault her'. Now, change all that to Tagalog, season it with textspeak and add additional question marks to the end.
Yes, my brain hurts too.
I vowed never to talk to him again.
4) Last, for now. The devil's advocate. Don't know what I'm talking about?
(Conversation translated to English. Removed all traces of grammar stupid. Only I have to suffer the actual conversation.)
Guy1: Okay, I'm making this trade...
Guy2: Psst, dude. Change the item to this one with a similar sprite!
Guy1: Hmm...
Guy2: Yeah! You'll keep your item and he'll get a crap one. You still get the money.
Guy1: Good idea!
By this time I was reaching for the cord of my mouse. I had to remind myself to stay calm. It would be child abuse. A ten-year old kid was teaching someone seven years older than him how to scam. If this generation is our future, I'd rather die early.
Guy2: Ask for items from that guy, make him think you're actually a girl!
Guy1: Cool, I got a rare item from him.
Guy2: Told you!
I didn't catch the rest. I was done with my online business and had to go home. I was still visualizing choking him like the bald guy in Hitman does. If you haven't seen it, you're basically back-to-back with your target with the fiberwire (or optical mouse cable), one end in each hand, wire around his neck as you bend over, then you give it one strong tug after a while, flipping him over.
I settled for loading up Diablo II and killing everything on sight.
I have seen the dark sides of the people I live in the same subdivision with, the people I've known for a long time. It's not pretty. Not pretty at all.
I'll never go back there again. Unless one of the braggart n00bs challenge me to a Defense of the Ancients game in Warcraft III, when I'll prove again that saving up for a +25 Str item for Bone Fletcher isn't such a hot strategy. I'll still kill you anyway. Use your hotkeys, dammit.
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